Read The Koran

As you might imagine, over the past four days I've gotten several angry, pitiful emails urging me to read the Koran. If only I could interrupt my dhimmitude long enough to read the Koran, the argument goes, I would see the insidious master plan that the Muslims have for us. And if I possess the barest shred of intellectual integrity, I would reconsider aiding and abetting the stealth jihad of exposing Islamophobia inside FBI counterterrorism training. 

"Read the Koran!" has become such a ubiquitous and self-righteous exhortation of the Sharia-Panic circle that it's easy to overlook exactly what it means. At its heart, it presumes that a religious text sacred to almost two billion people around the world for 1500 years is... easy to understand.

Put aside for a moment the additional presumption that the Koran is a blueprint for war, something like Mein Kampf. That's noxious enough. But just consider that for centuries, theologians, scholars and believers have grappled with the meaning of the Koran -- constructing reconciliatory arguments about its contradictory passages, incorporating counterevidence, arguing with others who give slightly more weight to this-or-that textual nuance. Whole schools of thought develop -- often heatedly -- about the correct understanding of Islam. 

And none of that matters. Because after 9/11, a group of Americans with minimal prior exposure to Islam figured it all out, for all time. They discovered the plot that lurks within the heart of the Koran. They can even quote you passages, like real scholars. The quest for meaning and understanding has reached an endpoint. 

I am an agnostic. I'm not an atheist for the same reason I'm not religious: I simply cannot presume to possess any certainty about the largest metaphysical question humanity confronts. But I learned enough at East Midwood Jewish Center to know that only a fool believes s/he has an ageless religious text figured out. After my studies there ended, I learned enough about the world to understand that the wo/man who makes that presumption exhibits a basic disrespect for the intelligence of billions of people who struggle with those texts for their entire lives.

Those who tell you, in an accusatory tone, to "read the Koran," will never have read the Koran. They will perhaps have scanned words that the Koran contains. But they will never have read it. What a shame that they don't understand the difference.

Comments

[sean]

The folks you're talking about are actually saying, "Hey, moran! Read this forwarded email my cousin Earl sent me about the Mosloms!"

[D]

Thanks for the very enlightening article. The anti-Islam mindset is there and will remain with people who have agendas. God guides whoever strives for guidance. I wonder if those people have even read the Bible or the Torah, or the scrolls of Moses and Abraham!

[mikey]

You (and sean) are absolutely correct. They don't know what the Koran says, they know what their ideological fellow travelers SAY the Koran says. I heard a woman call into NPR and demand the Muslim scholars actually READ what Shari'a Law says. They tried, very politely, to tell her there is no document entiteled "Shari'a Law", that is cannon law developed out of centuries of interpretation, but the woman was having none of it - you see, she had SEEN it on the internet.

As an aside, you also mention "I'm not an atheist for the same reason I'm not religious: I simply cannot presume to possess any certainty about the largest metaphysical question humanity confronts."

I'll submit that real atheism is not in any way about certainty. It's about believing your own eyes, or put more formally, believing only based upon empirical evidence. In this sense it's closely related to the scientific method, which is likely why so many scientists are atheists - there is simply no evidence for God, or any of the competing mythologies. So it is impossible to believe in them. If evidence comes to light, just as with any scientific theory, the wise man alters what he believes to be true to take into account the new information. "Faith Based" folks won't do either...

mikey

[Naelok]

Thanks for being a good man, Mr. Ackerman. We appreciate it.

[jgreene]

Mr. Ackerman, let me see if I understand. You haven't bothered reading the Koran, Sira and Hadith because you wish to remain ignorant of Islam?

And anyone who suggests you actually "learn" something about the Koran or the teachings of Mohammed hasn't read the Koran?

This lack of logic and your lack of inquisitiveness of Islamic teaching is amusing to say the least.

[Rafique Tucker]

Sage wisdom, Spencer. I always found it amazing how many of these self-styled foreign policy experts seemed to become experts almost overnight, and boldly assert that the only reason people don't realize all Muslims are evil is because they're ignorant or deceitful. They spend a few months on a few websites, reada few books, and their instant expertswho presume to tell lecture us about the threat of real jihadism, as if we didn't know, because we don't agree with them. Never muind that they often get their facts wrong.

I'm a Christian who believes the Bible, and I can hardly say I've figured out the whole Bible. The Bible certainly is not the Koran, but I can hardly profess to have figured out all the contradictions and controversies, and the fact that there are plenty of peaceful Muslims out there collapses their argument.

[Rafique Tucker]

Sage wisdom, Spencer. I always found it amazing how many of these self-styled foreign policy experts seemed to become experts almost overnight, and boldly assert that the only reason people don't realize all Muslims are evil is because they're ignorant or deceitful. They spend a few months on a few websites, read a few books, and they're instant experts who presume to tell lecture us about the threat of real jihadism, as if we didn't know, because we don't agree with them. Never mind that they often get their facts wrong.

I'm a Christian who believes the Bible, and I can hardly say I've figured out the whole Bible. The Bible certainly is not the Koran, but I can hardly profess to have figured out all the contradictions and controversies, and the fact that there are plenty of peaceful Muslims out there collapses their argument.

corrected for spelling

[JHSkeptic]

Close, but no cigar, jgreene.

"And anyone who suggests you actually "learn" something about the Koran or the teachings of Mohammed hasn't read the Koran?"

Anyone who suggests that reading the Koran reveals a singularly clear and uncomplicated vision of the religion is someone who hasn't really been paying attention to what they read, if they've read it at all.

[theAmericanist]

Yanno, it'd help before you posted anything this stoopid if you tried to show YOU know at least three things, which evidently you do not:

1) Strictly speaking, the Koran can ONLY be read in Arabic. For Muslims, it is the literal Word of God (who turns out to speak the perfection of classical Arabic) and thus, cannot be translated. This is not true of any other faith's Text that I am aware of -- the Torah, the Bible, etc., are all translations of translations, and even at their core are understood by the faithful to have been written by human beings. The Koran is not. That is not a small distinction -- it's like somebody who doesn't know the Eucharist is more than bread.

2) When you write that those who tell you to read the Koran have never "read" it, your arrogance becomes ignorance. There are some folks who suggest more people should read the Koran who HAVE read it, in Arabic, e.g., Daniel Pipes. There are many others who are familiar with the Koran on a level that you obviously are not, e.g., those who can note that it is oddly organized and thus WHY it is so extraordinarily hard to comprehend (by the length of each section, rather than, say, chronologically). Still others are broadly familiar with themes that you've clearly only barely heard of, such as the distinction between the earliest revelations (before the Prophet went to war), and the latter ones. Evidently you know nothing of any of this.

3) Finally, putting your ignorance on stilts, you miss that MOST Muslims cannot read the Koran (i.e., those who do not know Arabic, including virtually all of Indonesia, Pakistan, Afghanistan, and so on), and thus must rely on precisely the kind of people you scoff at.

Really, you should learn something before you make such a fool of yourself in public. It's been said before, and it still makes sense: if we are not actually at war with Islam, it is necessary to be able to say what IS the Islam with which we are not at war. old.nationalreview.com/comment/comment-donnelly022002.shtml

You don't rise to that challenge -- you don't even understand it.

[ecks why]

informed rational freedom loving people have all the reasons in the world to fear islam...

the twin fogs of political correctness & ignorance must be dispersed before western society better understands this menace. even a brief review of islamic theology & history quickly exposes the deadly roots of this evil ideology.

Mohamhead was a 7th century murdering warlord who rose to power on a river of blood surrounded by thugs and gangsters using intimidation, violence, deception and trickery to expand their criminal empire while mercilessly suppressing and killing their opponents and enriching themselves on stolen booty.

The evil koran is a collection of sayings and speeches by this diabolical madman claiming divine guidance from some mythical sky-god which has inspired generations of crazed fanatics to abhorrent behavior resulting in historys worst ever crimes against humanity starting 1400 years ago and still continuing even today.

Islam is just another fascist totalitarian ideology used by power hungry fanatics on yet another quest for worldwide domination and includes all the usual human rights abuses & suppression of freedoms.

and a snappy graphics version, great for emailing...

http://img256.imageshack.us/img256/1479/dangermoko.jpg

[Pandora Charms]

So fun article is! I know more from it.