Conor Friedersdorf goes after Dick Cheney's reputation with the psychotic relish of Hannibal Lecter breaking out of his specialty cell and butterflying his captor. The book -- I haven't read it yet, but judging from these reviews, it's brazen. At this point, it really sounds like Cheney is set to deliver Eminem's verse on "Bitch Please II."
What if he's right? I'm just a criminal, making a living off the world's misery/ what in the world gives me the right?/ to say what I like/ and walk around flipping the bird/ living the herbing life like a white kid from the burbs/ screaming at night/ and screaming at moms, scheming to leave/ run away from home and grow to be as evil as me/ I just want you all to notice me and people to see/ that deep down there's a decent human being in me/ it just can't be found / so the reason you've been seeing this me/ is this is me now/ the recent dude who's being this mean
Unlike Em, Cheney probably wouldn't sign off with something as crude as "suck my fucking dick, you faggot,"* since we know prefers "Fuck yourself."
This post is dedicated to my old Daily Targum editor/partner in crime, Sally Goldenberg, now of the New York Post, who in college never failed to get into the journalisming mood when blasting Xzibit's verse on this song.
*Let's also pause to reflect on how Eminem commands a "faggot" to "suck his dick," a perfect example of the furtive desires that homophobia usually can't help but reveal.